Kim Petras is ready for her close-up

Over the past year, Kim Petras has had to grapple with the fact that the thing she’s most wanted for her entire life has also filled her with the most dread. “I was so incredibly scared that if I ever had a really big hit that people were going to say things like, ‘Her left jawbone looks male, so we can tell she’s a man,'” says the singer, who has spoken about the complex issues of being trans since the start of her career. “I’ve seen how brutal people can be about your body and your appearance. I wasn’t sure I could handle that.”

Last fall, she found out. In September, she released “Unholy,” a collaboration with Sam Smith that became a worldwide smash, reaching No. 1 in the U.K., the U.S., and 18 other countries, while amassing more than 1 billion streams on Spotify. As if on cue, her breakthrough sparked an avalanche of misgendering taunts. “‘Biological man! Biological man!’ I got that from literally everywhere,” Petras says. “I had been afraid of that so much because it stings and hurts to be analyzed like that.”

But instead of cowering, Petras used her fear as fuel, making it the chief impetus behind her new album, Feed the Beast. As her first full release for a major label, she designed Beast, at least partly, as a vehicle to push her beyond her core LGBTQ+ audience so she could finally achieve the mass stardom of her dreams. “I used to think, ‘Why do I need that? I sell out tours and play gay clubs,'” Petras says. “But the fact is, I do want to be a main player. Now, having lived through being called a man all the time, I can make fun of it and not freakin’ go into a deep depression because of it. I feel like I’m finally ready to play in the main arena.”

In her long, at times conflicted, pursuit of that goal, Petras has made history many times over. In 2021, she became the first out trans artist to perform at MTV’s Video Music Awards, the first to appear at its Europe Music Awards (where she gleefully sang a song about anal sex), and, conversely, the first to play the ultimate family-friendly event: the Macy’s Day Parade. With “Unholy,” she also became the first trans artist on a No. 1 Billboard hit and the first to win a Grammy in her category, Best Pop Duo/Group Performance (with Smith becoming the first nonbinary artist to win). 

That’s a significant leap from where Petras was the last time we spoke, five years ago, when the German-born star was just finding her footing in this country. Her publicist had invited me to her apartment to hear the then-unknown artist sing with a lone accompanist on acoustic guitar. The individuality of her timbre and the strength of her vibrato, as well as her uncommon knack for melody, impressed me — and then some very important people in the business. In that same time frame, she got a powerful manager, Larry Rudolf, who has worked with Britney Spears and Miley Cyrus, and was picked by Spotify for its Rise series, which helped her zippy first U.S. single, “I Don’t Want It at All,” hit No. 1 on the streaming service’s Global Viral 50 chart. The momentum teased the notion that Petras might soar beyond the successes of other key trans artists, like Teddy Geiger and Sophie, to become the first to attain true mainstream pop stardom. 

Even in our initial meeting in 2018, she exuded a surprising confidence. Recalling that time in a Zoom interview from her Cologne hotel room in June, she says, “I always had a plan. I always had this belief.” At the same time, she admits her conviction is part bluster. “I have a lot of self-doubt too,” she says. “I overcompensate by proving to myself that I can achieve things.”

That’s part of why she has been so prolific in the past five years, putting out three LP-length indie compilations and an EP before Feed the Beast. Along the way, she has faced skepticism from certain corners of the industry that she could appeal to more than her core LGBTQ+ audience, and has drawn the ire of critics on social media for working on tracks with Dr. Luke, including some for the new album. In 2014, Kesha accused the producer, born Lukasz Sebastian Gottwald, of sexual abuse. He denied the allegations and then sued her for defamation; they have now settled their legal battle, issuing statements this week. When asked in various ways about her association with Dr. Luke earlier this month, during what was at the time an ongoing litigation, Petras declined to comment, other than to say to her fans, “I hope you can still listen to my music and enjoy it.”

So far, the overwhelming majority of them have, allured by the bounce of her melodies, the Euro-sheen of her beats, and the animation of her lyrics. To her, music is all about uplift. “It’s extremely hard to make a fun song,” she says. “You need to know exactly what to strip back and what to add.” If that approach results in songs that some might not consider wildly deep, so be it. “I don’t worry about being taken seriously because I love making songs about my tits,” Petras says.

She did that to hilarious effect on her 2021 single “Coconuts,” which pops up on the new album. And she went even further than that on Slut Pop, a jarringly raunchy 2022 EP that included a campy ode to oral sex called “Throat Goat,” which arrived with zingers like “I just sucked my ex / No gag reflex / I just had to flex / I’m the throat goat!”

For that project, she adopted a full-on, unhinged persona. “I was trying to have the most ridiculous fun with the sluttiest character I could come up with,” she says. “It was someone who would say whatever the f— she wanted to.”

She had more serious inspiration as well. “That was at a time when OnlyFans was going to ban sex workers,” Petras says. “I have a lot of friends who need sex work in order to transition. It’s a very normal thing in my world, and I don’t see anything wrong with doing sex work. I wanted those girls to feel empowered.”

An empowering message was also the engine for “Unholy,” the success of which generated two of last year’s most talked-about televised musical events. When Petras and Smith performed it on Saturday Night Live, she emerged from under her co-writer’s pink tulle gown — a Valentino, she points out — to make it look like Smith had given birth to her. The cheeky stunt was Smith’s idea, as was the decision that she alone would give the acceptance speech if their song won the Grammy. “Sam was like, ‘I’ve done it, babes,'” she says. “I think they saw that unless I’m singing, I’m a shy person. They wanted me to push myself.”

In her speech, Petras made a point to thank the late pop star Sophie, who died in an accidental fall two years ago. “She was the first trans person whose music I discovered and one of my first trans friends in the music industry,” Petras says. “She told me that I am the future. I miss having that kind of support.”

Also meaningful is the person who introduced Petras and Smith’s other major TV performance, at the 2023 Grammys: Madonna, an idol to both of them who was widely attacked on social media afterward for sporting a look deemed too edgy for her age. That reaction steams the singer. “It makes me really scared for every other person’s future in entertainment,” Petras says. “It’s such a double standard. There are so many rock dudes who do the exact same shit they’ve done 50 years ago and everyone’s like, ‘Yeah, man, he’s a f—ing rock star! He’s never gonna change.’ Madonna has always been shocking and out there, and she’s getting s— on because she’s a woman at a certain age who’s still trying to push everything.”

Petras gets even more emotional talking about the recent attacks on the LGBTQ+ community — especially trans people — stoked by politicians who are using fear to gin up support for their campaigns. “I’m extremely alarmed by it,” she says. “Trans people have always been used to outrage people, but you have to remember that we’re only one percent of the population. When I was a trans kid, everyone would call me crazy, but it wasn’t so publicly demonized. It’s scary for all of us who just want to live a normal life.”

A particular flash point in the debate has had to do with young trans people using hormone treatment, something with which Petras has direct experience. At 12, she was among the first to receive hormone therapy paid for by German health care. Though “hormones were essential for me,” she says, she doesn’t necessarily want to promote them. “Every person is different and needs different things,” she said. “There isn’t a specific way to be trans. You have to figure that out for yourself, but I do know that they shouldn’t ban hormone therapy.”

Along with her use of hormones, she credits the unwavering support of her parents as a lifesaver. Even when she was very young, her family let her dress how she wanted at home. “It was usually in a tutu, or in whatever the most ridiculous dress there was,” Petras says with a laugh. Those hyper-feminine outfits became a refuge from the days she had to present as a boy at school. “Having to hide that part of myself, and feeling like this monster who can’t get out of the house or everyone’s going to fucking scream, made those clothes my identity,” she says.

High-end fashion gave her even more power. Petras sends up that obsession in “I Don’t Want It at All,” in which she petulantly sings, “I want all my clothes designer!” The lyric has proven to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Petras has been seen in the front row of shows for Chanel, Jean Paul Gaultier, and Moschino; a few months ago, she attended the Met Gala as Marc Jacobs’ guest. She sees it as another sign of how far she’s come.

“I feel like I’m finally at a place where I really know what I’m all about and where I know I can handle anything,” she says. “I’m focused. And I’m ready.”

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